Support Elders member Ratna Sen shares the story of her life with Rimjhim Bhattacherjee.
As a young girl, I grew up in a very conservative family where a durwan would accompany me ...
Support Elders member Ratna Sen shares the story of her life with Rimjhim Bhattacherjee.
As a young girl, I grew up in a very conservative family where a durwan would accompany me even if I had to go two houses down. Those were days when women didn’t venture out too much and my father, although he loved me like no other, was very strict about this. Life changed dramatically after I married. My husband worked for Bharat Petroleum and had a transferable job. Wherever he went, I went with him— Burdwan, Behrampore, Asansol, Gujarat, Bombay. Sometimes he used to be away on tour for as many as fifteen days at a stretch and I had to manage on my own. Can you imagine the leap this was for me? I enjoyed my freedom though. I liked travelling to new places. Each new city had its own idiosyncrasies, its offerings of happy and sad days and new friendships. Some friendships forged in these new cities stand strong even today.
I used to spend my days immersed in chores, books, embroidery and music. I was trained in embroidery and it had almost become an addiction for me. I loved stitching patterns on panjabis, table covers and so on. But music engrossed me like nothing else. Along with completing my Master’s in Home Science before I was married, I used to take singing lessons at Geetabitan. I even learnt to play the Hawaiian guitar from a young chap who gave me lessons at home. My husband always encouraged my love for music and tried to arrange for guitar teachers for me in every new city we visited. Some of my most precious memories are with my son in Bombay—the two of us playing music, he on his Spanish guitar and me on my Hawaiian—alo amar alo ogo aloye bhubon bhora…those were magical days…
But enough nostalgia. Let me now tell you of an incident that happened while I was in Asansol…
I used to live on the ground floor of a house. Another family of mother and daughter, who I was very friendly with, occupied the first floor. Three steps led to my room. My husband was away on tour. It was late evening. I had been reading a book and had dozed off for a while when I suddenly heard a rustling noise, like the crumpling of paper. My eyes were immediately drawn to the door which I had left open for the evening breeze to pass through. What I saw made me freeze on the cot for a second before I gathered up all my courage and ran up to the first floor. I was so scared that I was unable to speak. Very cautiously the daughter crept downstairs and ran up to report the vision to her mother— a gigantic snake, with its hood raised, was sitting calmly on the steps leading to my room! Immediately, the mother wrapped a thick cloth over a stick, dipped it in kerosene and setting it to flame, brandished it in front of the terrifying creature. It slithered away into the darkness with a hiss. I slept upstairs that night. The nineteen or twenty year old me cocooned in my natal home would never have imagined, in her wildest fancy, that she would one day have an experience like this!
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Our member, General (Retd) Shankar Roychowdhury, gives us the lowdown on the preparation of this special day.
Republic Day is momentous occasion in the life of the nation. On 26 January every year, ...
Our member, General (Retd) Shankar Roychowdhury, gives us the lowdown on the preparation of this special day.
Republic Day is momentous occasion in the life of the nation. On 26 January every year, the nation and the world is treated to one of the “Greatest Shows on Earth” as India’s Republic Day Parade rumbles majestically down Rajpath, in the capital, New Delhi. Leading the parade are the Armed Forces, the pride of the nation.
The finished product which dazzles the spectators is the result of many hours of hard work and intricate behind the scenes coordination by the Armed Forces which commences several months ahead of the event. As the saying goes, practice makes perfect. The troops, tanks, artillery guns and other equipment as also the series of bands which pass in review before the spectators have to be moved to New Delhi in early January and concentrated in the Republic Day Camp established in the vicinity of the Army Parade ground in New Delhi Cantonment. The rehearsals commence on the Parade Ground in early January. Marching, driving, and saluting in parade formation by horsed cavalry, Army Dog Squads, tanks, artillery, infantry as well as flight rehearsals by helicopters of the Army Aviation Corps are rehearsed almost without a break every day, until due results are achieved. It is hard and precise work, but the troops carry it out willingly and with enthusiasm, often even after night has fallen. These rehearsals are of course not seen by the public, and are put on display for the first time at the Army Day Parade on 15th January every year held on the Army Parade Ground in the cantonment. The Army Day parade is the Army’s own dress rehearsal for its participation in the Republic Day Parade and is commanded by the General Officer Commanding Delhi Area. The Chief of Army Staff takes the salute at the Army Day parade, which is attended by large numbers of veterans, school children, as also service families, not all of whom will get a chance to attend the main Republic Day Parade at Raj Path. The Army Day parade concludes with a display not seen during the main Republic Day Parade – a demonstration of an attack by an integrated combat team of armour and mechanised infantry, supported by artillery. It is display as realistic as possible within the area available and is greeted enthusiastically by the spectators.
Army Day over, the Army contingents are concentrated at camps established near the Republic Day parade venue on Rajpath, where rehearsals continue, this time with the total parade contingents from the three services, the paramilitary forces, as well as other participants from schools and colleges, together with colourful cultural floats and contingents of folk dancers, as well as fly past by the Air Force. The weather is a very important factor here, and many anxious glances are cast sky wards hoping the Air Force flypast can take place as scheduled. Finally, the big day, with all its ceremony, shown to the country and the world, and the crowds stream home. Another Republic Day over and the Republic is a day older.
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Support Elders’ member, Mr Malaynil Dasgupta, shares with Rangana Bhattacharya his remembrance of a festival close to his heart.
I remember coming to Kolkata in 2001. It was a mixed experience. Leaving Northeast ...
Support Elders’ member, Mr Malaynil Dasgupta, shares with Rangana Bhattacharya his remembrance of a festival close to his heart.
I remember coming to Kolkata in 2001. It was a mixed experience. Leaving Northeast where I had stayed for so many years, I didn’t enjoy the experience of relocating to Kolkata. It was a compulsive move, driven primarily by career choice. The very idea of leaving my cousins and relatives behind on the eve of Bhai phota (or bhai dooj) and settling so far away was particularly painful.
Bhai phota has always had a special significance for me. Celebrating it with my younger brothers and sisters, Bhai phota has always been a complete family affair. Sitting around in a circle on the floor, we brothers used to take turns in taking the ‘phota’ (or the holy dot) from our sisters. Sitting in a row, they used to take turns in putting phota on our foreheads and we used to shower them with blessings. It was imperative for us to give gifts to our younger siblings on this special day. I used to work in the Railways and needed to travel extensively around Northeast, especially Arunachal Pradesh, Mizoram and Assam. Many a times I had important work commitments, but I always made it a point to be with my sister for Bhai phota.
Let me share an incident about Bhai phota. I have a sister who is very attached to me. Like every year, she had planned to gift me a shirt. Deciding beforehand on a shopping trip together, we excitedly went to a shop and started looking for a good shirt. Suddenly, one of her school friends walked into the shop with her mother. Not liking too much social attention, I tried to shy away from the ladies, much to my sister’s annoyance. She held my hand and pulled me into their conversation. I was very uncomfortable with the idea of interacting with girls and tried to escape my sister’s grip. Finally, I succeeded in freeing myself from her grip and in the middle of an engaging conversation, I walked out abruptly. I did not care that she was angry at my sudden departure and came back home, leaving her with her friends. A quarrel ensued and our fight was so terrible that I remember not taking phota from her that Bhai phota!
The tradition of Bhai phota has always enthralled me. Other than Raksha bandhan this was the only occasion where I could show my love for my sister. I have stayed in Siliguri for fourteen years and that is a place where Bhai dooj is celebrated with great pomp and ceremony. It is a token of love between brothers and sisters. I will always fondly remember celebrating Bhai phota with my family; and till date, barring the one incident mentioned above, I have always tried to be present for the occasion to earn my sister’ love and affection. Even at this age, it is a festive ritual I do not miss under any circumstance.
pic courtesy: By Aashish Jethra - Flickr: Mithai, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=29529481
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“My Ma's 70th birthday…and I wanted to do something special for her.” This is what inspired Delhi-resident Nilanjan Chowdhury to gift his mother a most memorable birthday.
My father's passing ...
“My Ma's 70th birthday…and I wanted to do something special for her.” This is what inspired Delhi-resident Nilanjan Chowdhury to gift his mother a most memorable birthday.
My father's passing away in 2006 and my maternal grandmother's death soon after was a big shock for her. But the strong woman that she is, she never let her children, my sister and me, feel that shock. She provided us with help and confidence, and whenever necessary, she supported us emotionally and always built a shield around us, protecting us from the problems of the world.
For over a decade, she kept herself busy surrounding herself with others’ problems and trying to help them. So last year, when she disclosed to me that she had joined an organisation where she was learning new things—among others, the basics of computer—I was really happy. I thought to myself—this is wonderful! Finally my ma was devoting time for herself, she was learning new skills and developing new relationships, finding new friends among her co-learners. Her asking me questions about the Internet, about the computer, about keyboards—all felt wonderful. She was finding a new meaning of life.
Ma’s 70th birthday was still a couple of months away and I still hadn’t figured out what that special something I could give her… for a while, I thought maybe an I-Pad or a new smartphone—given her new interest in technology. But I soon realised that they were just toys I liked and not something that would make Ma happy. I needed to do something that would surprise her and make her feel really happy. What could it be?
It was then that I thought about a surprise party with Ma's new co-learners at her third age learning community, The Silver Circle. The idea seemed good but I didn't know anyone from The Silver Circle. Would the organisers agree?
I started to google and I soon found the details. The Silver Circle is a joint initiative of Support Elders Private Limited (SEPL) and Calcutta Metropolitan Institute of Gerontology (CMIG) that builds a platform to help improve the quality of life of elders through positive engagement and self-actualisation. I decided to get in touch with Dr Indrani Chakravarty, chief functionary of CMIG. Her number was easy to get from the website and I called her. It was a cold call and I was prepared for a strong ‘No’.
But when I told Dr Chakravarty my idea, she pleasantly surprised me. She came up with an even better proposal. She said why just the small group of 15 at The Silver Circle? CMIG staff and residents of the day care centre would be happy to celebrate my Ma's 70th. And not just snacks and tea, we should have a birthday lunch! I immediately knew that it would be the perfect surprise for Ma. Dr Chakravarty assured me that only two people, other than her and I, would be aware of this celebration. The date would be 13th August—two days before my Ma's actual birthday. This is how “Project Birthday” took off. June and July breezed past and I had few calls with Dr Chakravarty and Supratik Gupta of SEPL. The coordination was wonderful and secrecy was maintained. I reached Kolkata on 12th August.
My Ma is a busy woman. She was busy preparing for an event on the 13th, wherein the Silver Circle members participating at a Defence officers' fete. My mother was cooking some dishes for the fete. And to my delight she had no inkling about her surprise birthday lunch. A last minute phone call on the 13th morning with Supratik, froze the plan. The ruse was that the Silver Circle team, along with my Ma, would be asked to attend an important meeting at the CMIG head office at 1300 hrs. Attendance was mandatory and a business lunch for all attendees would be served later. Ma grumbled saying she could not understand why they needed to attend a meeting on a day there was a busy fete to attend. I was trying hard to control my laughter. Both Supratik and I kept a straight face and carried on with our dedicated tasks.
Meanwhile behind the scene, the cook at CMIG office was busy preparing a lavish seven-course Bengali lunch for my Ma. There were going to be over 60 people joining us in the celebrations— 35 of them were destitute senior members of the society, who had no one to take care of them. Some had already assembled at the CMIG hall in their best clothes, eager to celebrate with my Ma and give her their blessings. I was really touched. Despite all the worries and difficulties in their lives, these senior members of the society had an air of positivity and sported big smiles. This was just the surprise I was looking to give my Ma—something unique…something money couldn't buy.
There was a banner at the entrance of CMIG, wishing my Ma a happy birthday, balloons at the gate, streamers and bouquets of flowers—the entire party works actually. My Ma arrived at noon with her co-learners of Silver Circle. Totally oblivious to all the activities, she walked right past the banner. Then someone actually pointed it out to her. My mother stood there shocked. Dr Chakravarty, who was now standing at the gate, gave my mother a huge hug and I could see tears well up in my Ma's eyes. I knew just then that my plan was successful. All the members sang for my Ma. She cut a cake and introduced me to her co-learners. The room was full of joy and happiness. This was a great gift not only for my ma but for me as well.
In the fast-paced, materialistic world we live in, I will treasure these moments when we reveled in the simple pleasures of life. I got to hear stories and experiences from my Ma's co learners, there were jokes, some teasing and a whole lot of laughter. I remembered my birthday parties—the ones my parents had organised for me when I was a child.
The lunch was a lavish spread with two types of fish dishes, sweets and of course the Bengali birthday staple, a bowl of payesh. Ma of course got the centre stage—a table was laid out for her with all other members sitting in front of her. There were many among the Silver Circle members who blessed my Ma and wished her luck.
Lots of photos and selfies and perhaps a few extra kilos later the party ended. With the blessings and positive aura of 69 people, my ma 's birthday celebrations had only just begun. I was the happiest and my partners-in-crime, Dr Chakravarty and Supratik Gupta, beamed with happiness as well.
I learned that this was just a small step, elders in our society don't just need our love, they need our support to be self-sufficient and companionship to never feel lonely.
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Support Elders member Commodore Subrata Bose shares his experience of the night India won her independence.
I was just a 11-year-old boy then but still vividly remember that night of madness and ...
Support Elders member Commodore Subrata Bose shares his experience of the night India won her independence.
I was just a 11-year-old boy then but still vividly remember that night of madness and all the euphoria that surrounded it.
Our house was located next to the wall joining Red Fort and Kashmiri Gate, on the banks of the Yamuna river. So, we were actually a part of Red Fort. So, it was barely a mile or a mile and a half away. I was quite aware of what was happening and knew about India getting her freedom. I knew what it meant. I had seen quite a few older neighbours being a part of the ‘Quit India Movement’ and other freedom movements.
On the night of 14th August 1947, I knew the Indian flag was going to be hoisted. Sadly, I was not allowed to go because there was no one to take me. My father was already there. He was one of the engineers with All India Radio and was part of the broadcasting team. At 11 p.m. that night, I ran to the terrace of my house, thinking and hoping that I would be able to hear the speech or see something. I could see the lights and fireworks. It was most beautiful. I could hear that buzz of thousands of people shouting. I was shouting and jumping with excitement. Then, suddenly I heard a loud rumbling—thousands and thousands of people were celebrating as the Indian Flag was hoisted. The euphoria was indescribable. I can never forget that feeling. It was like a thunder rolling over our head. The sky over Red Fort was lit up with flowers. There was complete happiness. We were so thrilled that we would no longer be treated like slaves. I remember seeing a sign at a park that read ‘Indians & dogs not allowed’. These kinds of things break your self-confidence. It was sad that we were 2nd class citizens in our own country.
The next day, I rushed off early to see the Indian Flag. Until that day, I sometimes walked down to school from my house when I missed the bus. From that day onwards, I walked down to school every day, without fail, just to see the flag. My friends and I would stop to watch the flag for a few minutes, filled with awe and amazement, before we walked off to school. It was such a wonderful feeling.
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